June 19, 2025
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder: Signs, Causes and Treatment
I'm Amita Devnani, a psychologist and life coach in Gurgaon . Many people ask me about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It sounds complicated, right? But my goal is to make it easy to understand.
Think of BPD not as someone being "difficult," but as someone struggling with a really bumpy emotional ride. Their feelings can go from super high to super low in a flash and it's tough for them to control these strong emotions. This can make everyday life, including relationships, feel very challenging.
If you or someone you know seems to be on this emotional rollercoaster, this guide will help you spot the signs, understand why it happens and most importantly, how we can find a path to feeling better.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder ?
Imagine your emotions are like a car with no brakes or a faulty accelerator. With BPD, it's hard to slow down feelings or speed them up when needed. This leads to:
- Fast and Strong Mood Swings: One moment they might be happy, the next very angry or sad. These changes can be quick and intense, lasting hours or days.
- Uncertainty About Themselves: They might struggle with who they are, what they like, or what they want in life. This can lead to feeling "empty" inside.
- Impulsive Actions: Sometimes, they might do things without thinking, like spending too much money, driving recklessly, or acting on sudden urges. This is often an attempt to escape intense emotional pain.
- Stormy Relationships: Signs of BPD in relationships often include relationships that are intense, loving one moment and full of conflict the next. There's a big fear of being left alone, but also a tendency to push people away. This can be very confusing for everyone involved.
How Can You Tell if Someone Has BPD? (Common Signs)
It's important to remember that only a professional can diagnose BPD. But here are some common signs people notice and often signs of BPD in women can be quite similar:
- Emotional Rollercoaster: Their moods change quickly and intensely.
- Impulsive Decisions: They might make sudden, risky choices.
- Love-Hate Relationships: Their feelings for people can switch dramatically, from "you're amazing" to "I can't trust you."
- Fear of Being Left Alone: They might go to great lengths to avoid being abandoned, even if it's just a small separation.
- Feeling Empty: A constant sense of boredom or a "hole" inside.
- Strong, Hard-to-Control Anger: They might get very angry quickly, often over small things.
- Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts: Sometimes, they hurt themselves (like cutting) to cope with intense pain or have thoughts about ending their life. (If this is happening, please get help immediately.)
Why Does BPD Happen? (The Causes)
What causes borderline personality disorder? is a question many ask. It's not one single thing, but a mix:
- Family Link: Sometimes, it seems to run in families, suggesting genes might play a part.
- Brain Differences: Research shows some differences in brain areas that control emotions and impulses in people with BPD.
- Tough Childhood Experiences: Often, people with BPD have experienced difficult things growing up, like neglect, abuse or very unstable family life where their feelings weren't understood or accepted.
It's vital to remember: BPD is not anyone's fault. It's a real mental health condition.
Can BPD Be Managed? (Treatment and Hope)
This is a very common question: Can BPD be cured? While we don't say it's "cured" like a common cold, the good news is that BPD can be managed very effectively! Many people with BPD go on to live stable, happy lives. It’s about learning how to handle those intense feelings and build healthier relationships.
How to treat BPD without medication?
For many, counselling and therapy are the main answers.
- Talk Therapy (Psychotherapy): This is the most important part.
- DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy): This therapy is specifically designed for BPD and is considered the best therapy for borderline personality disorder in India. It teaches practical skills like mindfulness (being in the moment), how to handle strong emotions, deal with difficult situations without making things worse, and how to improve relationships.
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): This helps people recognize and change unhelpful ways of thinking and behaving.
- Medication: While there isn't a specific BPD pill doctors might prescribe medication to help with related issues like feeling very sad, anxious or having mood swings. These are usually used alongside therapy.
- Support Systems: Having a strong support system, including family and friends who are educated about BPD, can significantly contribute to recovery. Living with someone with borderline personality disorder tips often include: learning about BPD, setting clear boundaries, validating their feelings (even if you don't agree with their actions) and encouraging them to get professional help.
Learn More: Listen to Our Podcast on BPD
I recently had the pleasure of discussing BPD in detail on my podcast with Neerja Ma'am, co-founder of EmoNeeds . We explored what BPD is, its common symptoms and most importantly, the effective treatments available, including Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Schema Therapy. We emphasize that BPD is a treatable condition and with the right approach, individuals can manage their emotions and lead fulfilling lives. You can listen to the podcast here: Podcast Link
Taking the First Step Towards Healing: Book a Session Today
If you or someone you care about is experiencing the struggles of BPD, please know that you are not alone, and help is available. Seeking professional support through counselling is a sign of strength, not weakness.
As a best psychologist in Gurgaon , I, Amita Devnani, along with my team, am here to offer a safe, confidential, and supportive environment for individuals and families navigating BPD. We utilize evidence-based therapies and a compassionate approach to help you develop the skills and understanding needed to lead a more stable and fulfilling life.
Ready to start your journey towards healing? You can easily book a counselling session with us. Simply visit our website to book an online counselling session or schedule a therapy appointment in Gurgaon. Your journey towards feeling better begins here.
Call +91 91510 06808 to schedule your first counselling session.
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