July 04, 2021
During the lockdown period, we are witnessing our teenagers facing many mental issues. They are dealing with excessive anger, depression, anxiety issues, and fear. Parents are worried about them. They complain about kids not listening, not being disciplined or kids not showing interest in either sports, studies, or any other activity. They are just procrastinating all the time.
But as parents let us understand, what our teenage child is going through and how we are supposed to help them. Teenage is a delicate age. There are lots of hormonal changes happening in your child’s body. With hormonal changes, a child is disturbed and stressed already. Along with that the social pressures, the demands of the education system, the teachers, the pressure of the peers, of looking good, of proving themselves, of seeking approval, pile up. Which is creating low self-esteem issues in them. And as a parent, we are putting lots of demands on them. They are not able to cope with all these demands. As a parent, to support our teenagers, we have to look inside. We have to check how much demand we are putting on our teenage children. We should not burden them with our expectations because they themselves are already overwhelmed with emotions.
Here are a few tips on how parents should behave with their teenage children:
Listen to what your child is saying, what your child is going through. It is very important. Most of the time parents listen to the voices inside their heads and not what the child is saying. Please listen to them. If they are saying that they cannot do it or they don’t feel like doing it, just understand they are going through something. Be compassionate towards them. Give them unconditional love and see the magic. Give them space.
2. Clear expectation and communication
As a parent, we never communicate clearly with our child. We just keep giving orders. Keep your room clean, do studies, eat well, stay healthy all the time. We are demanding one thing or the other from them but we are not communicating with them properly with clear expectations. Sit with them, discuss with them, make some rules. You cannot make rules just for them. You have to make rules for the whole family. Then work towards it.
3. Discuss reasons when you are saying no to them
As a parent, we think we have the authority to say ‘no’ to our children. But whenever you are saying something that they should not do please discuss reasons with them why they should not do it. Because they think they are old enough and they know a lot more than we give them credit for. They deserve to know the reason if you are denying them something. It will create a bond between you and your child. With a simple ‘no’ we will make them feel that they are not respected.
4. Acknowledge them for their good behavior
It is very important to acknowledge whatever is good in your child. In a day just try to notice what your child is doing good and acknowledge them for it. Whatever little small things they are doing. If he has put anything in the right place, acknowledge them for it. If he had studied for a few hours, acknowledge it. Acknowledge each and every little thing that they are doing well. You will see the miracles in them and in their life.
5. Never judge and compare your kid
It is an important point. Never judge and compare your teenage kid with another kid or anyone. Because it will make them feel that they are not good enough. They will feel inferior and it will threaten their self-esteem.
If you want to bring up a healthy child, a child who is self-confident, a child who can take care of themselves, a child who is self-regulated, you will have to follow these guidelines.